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I'm Dr.
Alexa Neynaber with Virasoap Natural Medicine in Meridian, Idaho.
I'm a naturopathic medical doctor and certified functional physician, and our
clinic specializes in natural health, wellness, and aesthetics for the whole human.
Today, I have the pleasure of talking to Heidi Romer.
Heidi, I would love to, have you share a little bit about your very unique
background and kind of what brought you into health coaching and your
training and all the different aspects of how you are supporting both men
and women , if you wouldn't mind sharing so other people can get to know you.
I'm Heidi Romer, and I'm a trauma coach, breathwork facilitator and ketone optimization coach.
So I utilize.
A lot of different tools and modalities to ultimately help you live your life from the
inside out, getting in tune and in touch with yourself and being able to make emotions
your ally and being able to regulate yourself so that your emotions don't run your life.
Growing up, I struggled with complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, things like that.
And, it wasn't until 2020, which I didn't know was a catalyst for everyone.
I kind of, my shit hit the fan a little earlier.
But like I almost jumped from a car on the freeway because of an anxiety attack.
And in that moment, I think I was willing to do anything and shifted my mindset to that openness
of like all I grew up with was Western therapies and very culturalistic religion, things like that.
So my mind wasn't really open and I wasn't willing to explore different things.
But my husband's a pharmacist and he did lots of research on alternative
healing for depression and anxiety, mental illness, and, uh, went down the
rabbit hole of plant medicine, specifically ayahuasca and psychedelics.
And in having that moment kind of opened me up to being willing to explore whatever.
So we found a medically licensed facility in Costa Rica that I
felt somewhat safe going to, um, mind you, I'd never done drugs.
Never drank alcohol, never really had much caffeine.
So this was very uncomfortable for me but I was willing.
I had no idea.
I didn't do any research because I trusted him and I didn't want to know because
I lived off of fear, basically, because I was blacking out from panic attacks,
never knowing, , how I would feel one moment to the next or how I'd wake up.
So I thought the less I knew, the better.
And I'm not sure if that was a good, good choice, but, , it changed everything for me.
I can't say that it got better right away because it didn't.
I don't know if I'm a harder nut to crack or not, but I know
that my conditioning was, very specific and closed minded.
So also the interpretation of self, I didn't know how to navigate that.
And if you're using plant medicine, that's all it does is it reflects.
or magnifies that which you're already experiencing.
So in my eyes, I'm like, Oh, it just made it worse.
And then 2020 happened, right?
Uh, everything shut down.
I was at the retreat during March 14th and they actually sent us home.
So, , I wasn't able to return for my second week and see
I forgot about that detail that you were there when everything shut down.
Yeah, on the shuttle coming home, , cause I was only supposed to stay for a week.
So on the shuttle coming home, my husband actually flew home and they got me off the shuttle.
They said, we think you can benefit for another week, so I did, but come that
Monday, two days later, , they had to shut down and I had to go home anyway.
I came home and processed a lot.
Mind you, a lot was dug up because my husband went and
there were a lot of things that he was going for as well.
So not only did things I feel like get brought up within myself, there was also a lot within us.
And then I come home to four children being homeschooled
and not having any safe space to process really.
So I felt like it was quite the combination and culmination
of everything because religiously I did not have support.
I was, things were strict for me with that support.
My husband, my family, my poor children, you know, were
kind of left alone because I, if I thought I was bad.
Before it just got worse.
the most beautiful gift though, in that timeframe was being able to see the story that I'd
written for myself and understanding the hardest realization that I was creating my own health.
Like I had created these viewpoints, right?
I had things that happened to me, but it's never what happens.
It's always the interpretation of the circumstances or experiences
that we have that really creates our story and our perceptions.
So realizing those perceptions that I created of myself and my circumstances
are what was so detrimental to myself and shutting me off from the world.
Well, I feel like even just with what you just went through, even in that snapshot of
2020 is a lot and coming back, let's say you hadn't just gone on that kind of adventure.
You hadn't just gone on that kind of self realization experience.
That time was stressful for everyone.
And then you add in the fact that you are going through this coming back to realizing
everything about your life and coming back and trying to do all of this self introspection.
I don't know how you managed that with four kids also being back into the realm of homeschooling.
Where did you find the hours in the day?
I'm going to get emotional, but, , my daughter was a senior.
so I had a senior in high school, a sophomore, and then a middle
school son, and then my daughter, who was, I think, in first grade.
So, a lot fell on my, senior, truly, she, she kind of ran the house and helped
pick up where I couldn't be, because I, I think I hid mostly in my room.
at least when my husband was gone and tried to, survive.
I just tried to stay alive for that, for that year until I could go back.
thank you for sharing that.
That is, amazing.
And I can't believe you're able to talk about this so calmly.
, have you been able to share your story even just in that, ,timeline
with others as you're kind of bringing that into your practice?
It kind of just depends on who I'm talking to and why.
Because I have a wide range of things that, that I talk about.
because I, specialize in sexual trauma, early
childhood, , experiences and also satanic ritual abuse.
There's a lot of different, realms that I can go into.
, and I'm certified in different energy practices, you know, and neuro encoding.
And, and so there's a lot of different.
realms that I can speak to.
Yeah, you're wearing a lot of different hats there.
So, well, I've had to, in that time, I had to figure out myself.
Right.
So in shutdown during 2020, , I had heard about Dr.
Joe Dispenza.
And so I figured, well, I can't do anything and I'm shut in my room.
I'm going to look him up.
And so I started practicing deep meditation.
, and I even went and attended a couple of his week long meditative retreats.
And those were just as powerful, , visionary and, healing wise as
plant medicine, psychedelics and getting into that subconscious realm.
Being able to navigate internal reality, because having to sit with yourself for that long,
you really get to know the stories you tell yourself and where your mind goes, and also
the sensations in your body and what's bringing you out of it and managing it all, because
it's a practice and it's a lot of redirecting and, , Just being consistent with that.
How did you get exposed to Dr.
Joe Dispenza?
Was that someone you had read about and some of the other
things you were exploring or did someone introduce you?
Yeah.
So at this plant medicine retreat in Costa Rica, I was
introduced, , somebody mentioned his meditative retreats and then that
was my first experience also with the deeper meditative breath work.
Very, very amazing.
I, dove into his meditation specifically, but I know a lot of people
really align and have had , incredible health breakthroughs with them.
So I'm curious.
This is a larger question.
But when you are exposing others to meditation and kind of into
that practice, is he is he one of the biggest resources you give?
Or do you give people a different place to start?
I think it depends on the client.
A hundred percent, because if they're, if they've never
meditated before, I'm not going to have them do a Dr.
Joe Dispenza meditation.
He he's deep, but I love how he blends the mystic and
medicine, basically the science and mysticism together.
Like he explains exactly how miracles happen.
And to me, that's, that's mind blowing.
, being able to sit and think about like how things, things Come into this reality physically from
our mind, , really puts it into perspective and then makes you check your mind a lot more often.
So totally depends on the client where I direct them to.
Uh, sometimes it's a little bit more of a, a body self
awareness meditation and what they're willing to do.
I mean, if they're open, absolutely.
He's my favorite practitioner and, meditative expert.
I mean, the, he creates his own, he composes his own music to go with it.
And he also incorporates breathwork.
Oh, no kidding.
I didn't know
Yeah, he's out of this world.
It's incredible.
The depth that he goes to for creating the results.
That's amazing.
And I apologize.
I, you had a story that I interrupted you in the middle of, but I wanted to know, you
know, after you came back and after you really started to dive into that journey of
self meditation, as well as self reflection, where was the, the missing piece for you
to really kind of transition into wanting to help others after you helped yourself?
you know, I can't say that that happens in the first year.
, because like I said, it got a lot harder.
So I, I had to get off of my meds before going to this retreat.
So there was that adjustment as well.
Because for me, and what I feel meds do is, numb you out to your
own emotional awareness and being able to feel the emotions.
I got, I was only off of them for, I think you have to be off six weeks before going.
So there was a lot of my body adjusting and re regulating as far as hormonally.
Plus when you go ayahuasca is huge with serotonin.
that's why you have to get off of meds because There's a lot it interacts with and induces.
like all the risks of serotonin syndrome, right?
Yeah.
So that's why you have to get off of any SSRIs., but my body was already having to adjust.
And so going to that experience and then coming home and all of the turmoil within.
I did not get into the phase of helping others at all
until when I went back, actually it was at the retreat.
So I, had a hellish experiences with ayahuasca.
And I think it's only because I haven't known how to navigate it.
It took me a long time to know how to navigate the medicine and how it was working with me.
Um, and a lot of that comes down to self awareness.
So when I was at the, the second retreat, it wasn't until
the very last night that I had this, breakthrough, , miracle.
It truly was a miracle where I was just the worst person to myself ever.
And it was in a moment when I stopped, I was literally beating myself, like hitting myself outside
in this hammock under the moon, like hating on myself because I wasn't willing to go in and take a
third cup that they wanted me to, to, and I was just like, I stopped because I noticed my feelings.
I'm like, when was the first time you felt this?
And with that question and curiosity, my mind like just blew up and information started coming in.
I had memories.
I had recollections.
I knew in the moment that my mind and body locked down
and I was living in that moment every day of my life.
And every emotion that was integrated into that moment and how it applied
to the ways that I was living and coping and managing my body and my mind.
So it was a lot of information that came through and awareness and totally unlocked.
I literally jumped out of the hammock after probably 15 minutes of awareness.
And I'm like, I'm free.
Like I literally felt the chains wrap from around me.
And I felt so free and just understood everything right in that moment or how I felt.
I felt I understood everything, but there's a lot that goes to integration.
And so it's funny how the next day I was actually, , my good
friend and I, Natalie, we were kind of going through it real bad.
Like we were secluded in this, , the common area, we were both just so emotional
and not even in this world felt like and so, , I was talking, , with somebody and
kind of coaching them through asking themselves questions and how they said I
helped them with a breakthrough and they're like, you're really great at like just
Listening and asking questions intuitively, like according to what I'm saying and, you
know, that put a pin in my mind and then, , just coming home and starting to apply.
I got a breathwork coach after that second retreat and just started really, , feeling
a little more momentum because of that freedom and what I was able to release.
, and also the self awareness and curiosity and being able to like be more
curious instead of angry or have judgment or criticism with myself with what
I was experiencing, like allowing myself to experience without the negativity.
And because of that, , people that I grew up with were the first
ones that reached out and they're like, what are you doing?
Can you help me?
Like, I don't know.
I have this thing, you know, so it was kind of a natural progression
here locally it was a little bit longer, just because I had surrounded
myself with mostly religious people, and those were not my people anymore.
And so it was just a different navigation it was more of a stripping away.
, for sure.
Not just, you know, cultural, religious, , my story.
It was a lot of internal things.
So it was just figuring myself out first.
And then I think as I applied that people were naturally attracted to
seeing the shifts and changes and difference in how I was navigating life
No kidding.
I think that that's such a neat breakthrough that you got to experience there on the ground.
And I'm curious, was breathwork your primary way that you kept in touch
with what you learned there and like brought it back with you about
how you could apply those things you learned to the rest of your life?
Or do you feel like there were other tools outside of breathwork
that were really the way that you maintained that experience.
Breath work was very key.
The last day of the first retreat, when I went in 2020, I was told in the medicine that breath
work would be the tool to implement for me to learn to trust myself again, because part of
me having a difficulty in navigating the medicine is not being able or willing to surrender.
And surrender looks different for everyone, but, , the need to control self, , it
means it's a survival instinct and I think it's magnified for those that have
had these different, , abuses, neglects, you know, traumas in their life.
Being able to manage our body is really one of the only things we can control.
So I think that's heightened and we try extra hard and to manage
and control ourselves and our body and stay, you know, in control.
And when you're on a psychedelic that's.
It's not going to happen.
And if you try, it's, it's going to make your experience a lot harder, in my opinion.
I think you put that simply so well, that's not something that's within your power.
I would imagine.
So I can't say I can speak from experience, but, I have definitely seen lots of patients
tell their anecdotes as well as just read clinically about this being such an incredible
breakthrough treatment for so many people who've experienced wide varieties of things
in their life that they have to come back and process and try to look at differently.
And I love the way that you describe it wasn't necessarily about learning something new as
much as it was about learning how to unlearn certain things and how to strip things down.
I think that that is the best way I've heard it described so far.
I'm so curious now, looking back, you know, for you, how often do you think
people you know, actually learn how to use their breath if they haven't
gone through similar journeys, if they haven't actually gone and purposely
sought out meditation classes or purposely sought out a breathwork coach.
How often do you think people really pay attention to their breath?
I think it varies person to person.
I think our breath, for those that I've spoken to and have experience with, I think
they've had these breakthrough moments and it's through utilizing their breath intuitively.
, and once they do, it sinks in like, Oh, like if I can
manage my breath, that shifted things drastically.
So I think sometimes it is the, the catalyst for a breakthrough.
Unintentionally, but I think, , for instance, giving birth, right?
If you go unmedicated, your breath is key.
And I had both medicated and non, and by all means, your
breath, it helps you navigate or, or feel out of control.
Truly.
So I think it's the most beautiful tool I can offer my clients because it's a way that
they can stay in control, quote unquote, of themselves in difficult circumstances,
if they can manage their breath, they can manage life, no matter what it gives them.
And this is probably another it depends question, but I'm so curious as someone who
has really taken the time to explore this when you are giving people these tools
to utilize breath work for their own health, do you feel like it's here's how you
can deescalate or use this in that specific moment, or is it more about prevention
where here's how you should be breathing all day to prevent getting into that space?
Yeah.
Yes.
, because I think we're overrun by stress and chronic, , cortisol and there's a conditioning.
Our, our.
The way we live here in the States specifically is very
fast paced and it's more so in the city versus the country.
I grew up on five acres and very much no TV, you know, chopping down firewood, things like that.
So it also depends on their interaction with nature and things like that.
But, , I, I love to teach integrative breath work patterns to where you
can manage getting in and out of that fight or flight state readily.
Right.
And the more you practice it, the easier it'll be.
That's.
toning your nervous system.
And then there's also being able to condition it, right?
So I also teach them, uh, you can use these to get out of fight or flight.
And you can also practice like when you're driving, undo your top button so that you're aware
and your belly can get bigger as you breathe and focus on breathing in your belly as you drive.
Because I think that came to, in a My awareness of when
I'm holding my breath and when my breath's up here.
Because when I'm driving for some reason so I think it's pointing out key times That
they can choose to utilize the breath in that reconditioning and allowing themselves
to resonate in that parasympathetic more often , and I think we were gonna somewhat
tap into like our eating because Eating has been a tremendous, like, evolution of,
of self for me, , because that was another way that I tried to control my life, or
I felt like that was one of the only ways that I could control, , what was going on.
And as many women feel like it's their only method of control, which is so sad, but it's so real.
yeah.
So one of the things that I've, Put into practice.
, I grew up praying over my food, but there's nothing wrong with that.
And I don't, I've only shifted the intention, right?
Prayer is intention.
But for me, I've shifted to like, just putting my hands over the food and like allowing
my food, right, raising the vibration of my food to love, just sending it so much love.
But also in that moment, I'm talking to my body and taking deep breaths and saying, okay, body.
It's safe to consume.
Like you do this amazing, right?
You have such an incredible ability to break this down.
And I ask that you can just take in what you need and release what you don't with ease.
Like I'm doing my best with what I choose and I will try to honor you, you know, and just
kind of like talking myself, my body through the process of consuming this food, but it's key.
Because I'm slowing down my grind.
That is so important.
Fact, Heidi, I feel like that's the only time I really coach people through
about breathwork is about eating, because that's like a huge part of like
digestive wellness in my practice, but I love these other checkpoints that
you're describing about how people can, you know, say, oh, okay, I'm driving.
I remember talking with Heidi about this.
I need to be not just focusing on what's enraging me.
I need to be focusing on what.
You know, I am in my body and it's this nice manifestation of how you can check in.
And like, that's so tangible for people because when I say, you know, Oh, I want you
to explore meditation or, Oh, I want you to explore what it looks like to deep breathe.
People don't know where to get started with that.
But the food one, the food one is one I want to dive into.
I'm biased because I talk about this every day and people probably think I'm
crazy, but I probably spend a good number of minutes of every new patient
visit, just talking about the importance of not being stressed when you eat.
And it sounds so simple.
And we could like literally go in for hours about why this is true, but.
I can throw fancy supplements and treatment patterns towards people all day
long to help tone their vagus nerve or to help shift them into parasympathetic
mode of their nervous system, but nothing beats actually just taking the breath.
And I love what you said too about you can have gratitude
towards your food, regardless if you're religious or not.
That gratitude and that intention of I want this to nourish my body is just
as important for you as it is setting that tone for other people at the table,
because it's very easy to have that time that you're only checking in with people
that one time or twice a day, if you're lucky, let's talk about all the things.
But maybe that's not the best time to talk about all of the things
that's stressful or what's going on in your day because you really want
to be shifting into that rest and digest phase of the nervous system.
And so I oftentimes talk about like, taking the three deep breaths, potentially saying a prayer
or like a, you know, some sort of notation of gratitude, whatever that looks like for you.
And then the other piece that I feel like we don't talk about
very much is chewing more times than you think you need to.
It's not necessarily your breath, but it's still reminding your
body that you're supposed to be in that side of your nervous system.
And, , I'm so curious.
Do you find that mealtimes is what people bring up to you is one of their biggest times that
they're not relaxing or times that you're working with people or is it usually about other concerns?
I've dealt with eating a couple times with my clients, but I think with
who I work with, , they're more like just realizing how to function
with themselves in this fight or flight state and shifting from that.
So I think, , the food comes.
Just a little bit later for like, if I continue to work with them more than, you
know, six months going on a year, I think that would definitely be addressed in
those longer stints, , when they're not so worried about just functioning, you
know, way that you eat and the indigestion and all the things like they don't
even know that they're bloated all the time until they become aware of their body.
So with that, I wanted to mention that, , one of the most beautiful things that Dr.
Joe teaches is meditation in all ways.
So he taught us lying down, sitting, standing, walking,
and maintaining a meditative state in all the ways.
Right.
So.
It's funny that you say eating, because we want to bring up all the
things, and I think we ruminate and we process as we're walking, right?
Walking is such a beautiful form of medicine, you can call it,
because it's, it's allowing both hemispheres to work in conjunction.
It's kind of a form of Psyche K, where you're getting both hemispheres to come together and process.
, And so it's a beautiful time but also doing laundry vacuuming doing the mundane tasks
So you don't have to think about you're actually you can be in a meditative state.
So Becoming aware of where your mind goes and what you're feeding yourself.
And and if you're processing through things meaning you're Understanding yourself
becoming aware of what you're saying how you're speaking And for me processing means
i'm working through something like i'm Curious, and I'm trying to unfold why I do things
or what brought things up or okay, how can I make this better, you know, or is there a
part of my body that feels like a little more stuck or in pain or something like that?
When I think about this, am I storing it in a certain space?
So like doing all of these different, um, awarenesses.
Is I think key and and that just brings practice, right?
So the food part One thing I've learned and was told in medicine is I love to cook.
I love to host , and I think it it was a message for me just because of that
is creating your Mealtime is a ceremony, like the whole part of it, right?
I have a cacao ceremony.
I'm praying over and blessing the cacao.
I'm very mindful of like the blue lotus leaves and the rose
tea, like the heart openers, you know, in what I put in it.
And it's the same with my food, like as I'm cooking the
soup and adding each ingredient, it's, it's whole foods.
And it's also like, I'm playing music and I'm dancing
and I'm loving on it before I even partake, you know?
So it's like the whole of it is being more intentional and conscious of how we're living.
A lot of the, , at the very end of my deeper meditative breath works that I, , facilitate,
I love saying, , you make, you, you create your life choice by choice, breath by breath.
And it's all about staying awake in the dream, because I feel like
this consciousness is ultimately what we're trying to uncover.
And sometimes I feel like what we're fighting.
Does that make sense?
Or maybe even running away from or not choosing to be present with those
feelings.
And I love how you brought up , you can be doing the most mundane things
in your task list, but you could also choose to approach those things
that you don't really need to be thinking about, like, folding laundry.
You could choose to use that time as a tool for yourself to
go back through and contemplate what you've been working on.
And I oftentimes find myself daydreaming when I'm doing things like
that, but it's a really nice reminder that you could be using that time
In that way.
And have a new appreciation for how I'm going to approach my Sundays.
Maybe daydreaming is the best thing you can be doing in
that time because how often do we allow that for ourselves?
Like think in possibilities and resonate, right?
Like Dr.
Joe explains that like in order for you to get what
you want, you have to resonate at the same frequency.
It's all about frequency.
And so if you can bring yourself to that joy and bliss and pleasure by
daydreaming, let yourself go there while you're folding laundry, , or vacuuming
hey, I'll take it.
It was a form of therapy.
I wasn't doing intentionally.
Right.
, When I'm starting to define these concepts for people, especially like in a patient care setting.
loved hearing this example.
1 time.
I believe it was from, 1 of the functional medicine courses.
I took when you're explaining to people that you can practice
intentionality and it doesn't have to be the same thing as meditation.
And it's just like you were saying, it's practice getting to use a muscle.
Essentially, it's a muscle that you can train and learn and get to know better.
And the example this specific provider used was about showering.
About how oftentimes it's the first time in someone's
day that they are forced to just do one thing, right?
Just forced to just wash your hair.
And a lot of us will go to the pitfall of like, Oh my gosh, I have to do this, this, this, and this.
And Oh my gosh, I didn't call that person back.
And Oh my goodness, , is my kid up yet?
Like thinking about all the things outside of that shower door.
But maybe what you could be doing is focusing on just the way the water feels
on your skin, focusing on what your shampoo smells like, focusing on what it
feels like to massage your scalp and give yourself that little tiny bit of love.
What would it look like if we just experienced that and he's like, that is
just one example of intentionality that you can practice every single day.
as I was like a busy med student, I was like, gosh, dang it.
He's right.
It's exactly what I do when I'm in the shower.
I like jokingly feel like I need a whiteboard in there,
but I'm like, that's exactly what I need to step away from.
Because there's plenty of other times in your day that you
get to work on that task list and the more times you get to.
Define and really organize that into a way that makes
your brain feel calm, you're happier the rest of your day.
Oh, my goodness.
When I learned that, , and I still am learning to get better at that.
But when I just learned to be more present with that, I felt like it
was really eye opening for me when I was really, really, really busy.
And so it's the example I like to give, , for people who I only have a few minutes with.
Yeah.
I love the driving example you gave and we talked about food.
Is there anything else that you feel like would be, especially for
people who are just starting to explore, like, what does meditation mean?
What does intentionality mean?
What does this all look like?
Well, you know, how do I check in with myself better?
Any other like tools or reminders you like to give people in the beginning stages?,
I just want to piggyback off of what you said about the shower, like
how often do we actually take the time to feel the sensations of like
actually washing our body and dang it, this body does so much for us.
unconsciously.
So a lot of times for my clients in particular, like the
disconnection that happens with their body, it's super, super helpful.
And I think with the busyness of life and everyone's gone through difficult times.
So I think this happens unless you live in an indigenous
culture in the jungle, , there's a disconnection.
And so it's like, Just taking the time to actually
feel sensations and also giving so much gratitude.
You know, when we put on our clothes and put our shirt over our heads, how
often are we like, oh my gosh, I have a lot of range of motion in my shoulders
or being able to wash your whole body or get out of bed, you know, like.
As soon as we get out of bed, you're like, Oh, I'm so tired.
No, really.
Like, what are you saying to yourself?
And how are you loving yourself?
You know, I have the beginning of my journey was all about like, what do I need to heal?
What do I need to get rid of?
What do I need?
Like, what negative can I let go of?
And I think more recently it's been focusing on the intentionality.
, More recently, I had an experience with Dr.
Joseph McClendon, Jr.
The 3rd, and he was, he does the neuro encoding and he talks about, like, initiating
that fight or flight response on purpose, which is 1 thing I do in the deeper
meditative breath work, but he was talking more specifically with triggers.
He's like dedicate five minutes a day.
And you think of something that really upsets you.
You sit your ass down on the chair and you interrupt that pattern.
You make yourself feel that you stand up.
You say, no, you go through this process that he goes through.
You celebrate, you sit your ass back down and you feel that way again.
Like he does that on purpose.
I have never heard
Yeah, it's amazing.
and so like you're little by little every day, you're intentionally.
Reducing these triggers and allowing yourself to rewrite them, work
them through process and integrate whatever is needed on purpose, right?
If you aim your, if you're looking at a light pole,
you're going to hit it while you're driving, you know?
So it's all about like, If you want a million dollars, everything that's keeping you
from that million dollars is going to show up on your process to the million dollars.
So we don't really need to focus on what's keeping us from it.
It will naturally come into fruition and into our sphere as
we're trying to navigate towards the things that we desire.
Does that make sense?
Oh yeah, I love this.
That's a really unique perspective though of that tool to be able to like purposely
bring yourself into that because so often I feel like we're trying to drive
ourselves away from it to try to calm down to try to nourish the nervous system.
But the idea of teaching your body how to get back out of that is fascinating.
I love to utilize breath work in that way of allowing somebody to not just
like, if they feel triggered in an interaction, like breathe yourself through
it, like calm yourself down, notice the trigger and kind of put a pin in,
okay, there's something here for me because I'm feeling this, but breathe.
So that you're aware of self and you're still present for the
conversation because there's a lot going on in this interaction.
Your experience is just yours and you want to stay present for the other person.
And when I've been able to do this, it's like I'm seriously in two
realities at once and allowing and still fully present for both.
And being okay with being in those two spaces at the same
yeah.
And most of the time.
Allowing myself to be aware of the emotional experience that I'm having in this
interaction, just the awareness and sitting in it while I'm breathing and being present.
Like I, a lot of times I don't have to go back to this feeling and work
through it, so to speak, or uncover any more journal or do breath work
or whatever, just the presence of allowing it and breathing through it.
That is integration, right?
Because a lot of times it's just allowing your body to fully experience that emotional response.
That's integration.
It's super, super simple.
Feel to heal.
And, uh, the more aware and present we can be for that, whether you're eating,
walking, you know, being intimate, in conversation, like alone vacuuming.
I think the key is just allowing yourself to be consciously
present and you'll know exactly what you need to do.
with your body.
Like intuitively we know we're, we were created to heal, right?
Our body's always trying to heal.
And so if we can become present enough to receive the messages, Oh, we're in pain.
Okay.
Let's not take some medicine.
Let's look at this and feel it.
And what, what's actually going on, you know?
Pain isn't necessarily bad.
It's just information.
same with emotions.
It's just information.
And the, the key is not judging, criticizing, or whatever.
It's getting curious because that judgment and criticism, it closes your brain, right?
So even though we're asking questions, you're not going to
get an answer because you're not a safe space to receive.
You're like creating your own unsafe space when you
do that to yourself, which is so hard to remember
yes, yes.
So if you can pause, and usually the breath is an interruption of the pattern.
If you can remember to breathe, that pause gives you a moment to choose.
Whether you're going to stay in the pattern or in
unconscious or if you're going to just continue to breathe.
You don't even have to do anything, but just keep breathing and be present.
Like what if that's all you have to do?
right?
Well, it's so, it's so simple, but it is so lost.
I feel like now, and I, you put it so simply.
I think just those three words, I think you need bumper stickers,
Heidi, that just say, feel to heal, because it's so true.
How often do you just allow yourself to just, say what am I feeling?
Not, I shouldn't be feeling this way, or gosh dang it, I need to get over this.
It's just, what, what am I feeling?
What, like, just checking back in with that.
, and I like also that your breath can almost be an interrupter to those, thought
patterns of saying, I'm coming back to that, because it's, You always have it.
You always have it as a tool.
You never have to have it in your bag.
You never have to remember to pack it.
You never had to like, you know, plug it in and recharge it.
It's always there.
And I think when you learn that you have that tool already built into you, it's
also, very freeing because you know that you're not reliant on something else.
And you basically summed up the question you gave
me at the beginning, , with the plant medicine and.
Ultimately, that is how the medicine works, right?
It makes you so aware of self, but until you can stop with the judgment, criticism, trying
to figure it out, avoid it, or make it go away, you're not going to get the answers.
You're actually asking because you go in with intention of like wanting
answers to things and it's giving it to you, but you're not able to
receive or become aware of because they're in sensations in your body.
It's those subtleties.
And I think, you know, the example you gave about like, okay, when you're
changing your clothes, how often do I think of, Oh, you know, this is amazing.
Everything my body did for me.
So often, you know, what I'm hearing from, you know, women especially is,
they're getting down about their own body and they're getting really stuck
in their own head about just like their weight or the way that they look.
And it's like, okay, Your body hears everything about how you're talking to it.
And I really do believe that in any different type of healing crisis or
healing pattern, your body is listening to what your brain is telling you.
So I try to remind people of that, like when they're on this journey, that they never will actually
be satisfied with where they are going if during that process, they hated themselves during it.
So when people are like, Oh, I'm just so frustrated about this
last X, Y, or Z pounds or that my clothes are fitting differently.
I like to remind people, you also thank your body for all the things that it did today?
Like, did you also, you know, give yourself back that
gratitude or give yourself any credit for everything it did do?
Because that totally shifts the way that you are working towards your
goals, because goals don't happen very fast, but that way that your body
is receiving messages of how you're talking to it happens very quickly.
And I've even noticed in my own body when I shift from that, , I'm frustrated by this
to, I did all of these things today it completely changes to, okay, maybe I should
be happier with where I am at in this journey, and I don't feel so down about things.
And that can apply to, you know, whether it's learning or, you know, job or
anything I just feel like that shift is a completely different gratitude mentality.
Not only do I wish I did more, but I wish that I could share that and
have people what that feels like to have that moment of, oh, I get it.
I'm sure there's a better term for that, but as eloquently and succinct as I can put it.
The relationship we have with our body is.
Very unique to everyone.
, and I know for me, that's, that's been a lifelong journey.
And I know it's been a form of protection, you know, the extra weight that I've
carried, , because for me, there was always a lot of, attention on my body.
Right.
And then I went through puberty early because of that, you know, abuse and things like that.
So I had extra attention and I started to develop much sooner than other girls.
And so there was just such a level of self betrayal between my body and self.
Like there's Deep denial and also disconnect because I felt so betrayed and it
was something I couldn't control, you know, and then that led to extra weight and,
and things, but ultimately it's understanding what is it doing for you, right?
What, why am I holding on?
And a lot of that recently, as I'm just over 40, I'm not going
to say an age, but,, is really becoming attuned to my cycle.
Right.
Like, cause I've been a go, go, go, go, go girl.
And my go go juice is gone.
So like it was in a recent, , ceremony that I had for
myself, tuning into my body, it, it said, I'm done.
Like I need rest.
And so like this week, it's the hardest thing for me, but I do muscle testing and
intuitively, I just felt like I need to take the week off because I'm in my, , You
know my reflect phase right before my period starts on saturday or whatever and last
month I literally couldn't get out of bed for days So this month i'm like, okay.
I really really need to honor this phase Knowing that as soon as my period starts and my
hormones reset, it's only going to take me two days before I can jump back in and go, right?
But it's honoring the process and the cycles that we're in so that I can lower my cortisol, right?
And it's all about working with ourselves.
So the things that I implement are just tools.
Like the breath work, meditation, and that's why I utilize ketones, right?
For the added depth of toning the nervous system, , adjusting and regulating
the leptin and ghrelin so that my cravings aren't there, mood stabilization.
So I just utilize different tools to help my clients navigate these different areas.
And myself, I mean, I utilize and implement all of this for myself.
And
Yeah,
because I can only take my clients where I've been and where I'm willing to go.
for sure.
I love though, that you brought up this about addressing your body differently,
especially as a woman noticing that we have different seasons, even within the month.
That totally changed the, entire landscape of our nervous system,
our hormones, our digestion, all of it, and how we take on stress.
I love learning and with that curiosity start, you know, like the
peak of curiosity bringing about like answers to what I want to know.
I'm definitely more in the realm of research and I love that.
So, because I love understanding like an app has came so easy
because everything interacted in such a way and made everything work.
So I've with, , utilizing ketones, knowing how to get into ketosis for myself,
for those added benefits and applying intermittent fasting to, , for the mood and,
better relationship with food, you know, allowing myself to really take notice.
And that was a good practice for me, incorporating intermittent fasting to
become aware of and journal on really intentionally what I'm eating, why I'm
eating, when I'm eating, what I'm thinking as I'm eating things, but adjust.
It really impacts your mood.
Yes.
And.
You know, I learned a lot about why I eat and you know, like the relationship I had with food.
I mean, it's like any other relationship.
There's just manipulation that goes on.
So understanding my cycle.
Yes.
That's why I, cause I wake up at five every morning to go and work out.
And I mean, I have eight people in my house.
Right.
I have a busy home.
I have a business I'm running.
I, you know, do things.
This is the first week I've done this because of last month's
ceremony where I'm like, okay, I'm not going to die early.
I'm not going to keep on the pounds.
I have all these complaints.
If I'm going to complain that I don't have energy, what am I doing about it?
And this month I'm not working out.
I'm allowing myself, I'll go on a lengthy walk.
I have a weighted vest.
I haven't decided if I'm going to use that yet.
Cause I like to push myself.
I don't, it's, it's something I like, but the type of workout that I
do does initiate that cortisol response, which is HIT and heavyweights.
And you know, it initiates more cortisol.
Knowing that my progesterone is very sensitive, I really, really want to baby this month
because I don't want to get to a space where it was almost two weeks last month where I was out.
, and since I like to move and I like to accomplish and I like to be productive, not just
productive, but like present for my family, I'll do whatever I need to maintain my health.
And so this is just an added depth of like, okay, I might not need to get up at five
this week And they have classes later So if I feel my body has that energy to burn
I will go at a later class or I will take a nice walk and make sure that I hit my
ten to twelve thousand steps, but, really noticing how I feel first and foremost.
And then like, I even have it on my Google calendar, the different like weeks and different colors.
And then under the notes section, I have the things I should be eating,
the type of exercise I should be doing, , and not shitting all over
myself, but becoming aware of like, okay, We have different seasons, right?
Springtime, I'm gonna feel a lot more energy.
I'm coming back to life.
Summertime is always a fun time and it's creative and it's outgoing.
And then there's fall where you're dying and energy isn't so great, but it's beautiful because I
have, Ways to look at it within business where it's like, Oh, this is your really internal side.
So it's great for copywriting.
It's great for journaling.
It's great for, you know, all these other things.
There's major positives for these different steps of your cycle.
And then I always celebrate bleeding because it's done
Yeah.
So I know that I give myself two days and to really rest and rejuvenate and take it easy and
have a A reason to sit down and read a book or two and then the rest of that week is planning
because your energy is starting and it's a great time to reflect and your energy as such.
So it's looking at the energy of what each cycle brings to know
how to best facilitate the utilization of that energy available.
Oh my goodness I, yes..
A hundred percent agree and I love that you have really taken that to the next level and have
really joined that in with like your self reflection of what that means for you and your health.
You know oftentimes in the primary care space I am getting to just scratch the surface and with with
women in terms of me about the last three months of your cycle and that's what I'm doing Sometimes
people look at me like I'm nuts, but want to know like, what is your average length of bleeding?
Are you staying within that?
And often times people will say, well, I don't track that.
I generally know like I will start at the end of the month.
Well, we have different variability between months and that's not always a perfect system.
So sometimes that's that initial homework piece of,
I want you to just start tracking it for yourself.
And then maybe the next time I see them, we'll take it a step further of like,
I want you to kind of start paying attention to maybe just your stress levels
or your digestion, how it changes throughout the month . Or maybe it's it's
your energy, you know, it's just something simple to start like tracking it.
I want to to encourage women that it is more than just Information, you
know, it is, it's almost like a, a sixth vital sign that we underutilize.
And, um, in, at least in our culture in, in Western culture that I
feel like it's been shush, shush, it's been, um, taboo to talk about.
And now I'm so excited and here for it, that it's starting to
become trendy to really start to pay attention to your cycles, but.
There are a wealth of information that really gives us the
ability and window to see when there is dysfunction happening.
You know, sometimes I get women who will say, I am like clockwork, I am like
clockwork, I am like clockwork, and then all of a sudden something happens.
And now I'm freaked out because I haven't had a period in a long time.
Well, outside of obviously pregnancy, your body is trying to tell you something.
so I lean back even in my own experience, as someone with PCOS and as
someone who's gone through really intense bouts of stress, um, in their life.
It's very possible for you to skip.
It's very possible for your body to be taking in this information that
it's not actually safe to have a cycle or to have released an egg.
And that's important to realize for your own self that maybe your body is giving
you that information that you're going too hard or you're going too intensely.
You're not giving yourself that rest.
You're not giving yourself back that self care.
Um, and that's why I just want to encourage women.
If you don't track your cycle.
Start somewhere and just start using it as a piece of information for yourself
I really think it's important when women bring up the conversation of like, I'm worried
about my hormones because I, you know, I'm noticing this or I'm feeling something is wrong.
Um, because you can have those women that say everything's been like clockwork until,
and then that allows us this opportunity to really dive in and say, okay, what happened?
Here.
what happened to the rest of your body and what potentially
happened to the rest of your hormones that we have to look at.
It's just scratching the surface.
Obviously, we can get way more into the weeds on how we shift every single month, but That's
why it even more so if you know you have PCOS or you know You're kind of entering in a new
season like perimenopause or menopause it's more important to start tracking those things.
I think it could simplify the process too.
I know I had a client who was like, I just feel like I'm so bipolar.
I'm like, well, how often is this happening?
She's like, every month.
I'm like, oh, that's interesting.
You know, like to where it really is not just information, but I think it can simplify.
Giving ourselves grace and the more information we have and understanding of self,
like the easier quote unquote life is because we know how to then work with ourselves.
And I feel like a lot of times we, we think of our life as this giant spider web, and there's all of
these problems when in reality, if we could just reduce cortisol, half of the web would fall down.
And what does that look like for us?
You know, like getting good rest, getting like, I don't know, nervous system regulation, right?
Like if you are on fight or flight all the time, your
cortisol will be high no matter how much sleep you get and
right.
a big important part in being able to regulate your nervous system.
Or even worse.
It's been high for so long that then you burn out and you're at this extremely low level constantly
that the body doesn't differentiate the peaks of cortisol where they should be throughout the day.
know,, This drives me up a wall and I don't know how often you've seen this, but
people will like come in with one blood test and say, Oh my gosh, my cortisol
was really high in this one point or really low in this one point I'm dying.
Or, you know, something is really, really wrong.
And I do want to just have people keep in mind that we are supposed to have
high cortisol sometimes and we're supposed to have low cortisol sometimes.
In fact, it's supposed to shift throughout the day to help us get through our day.
Um, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
It's what is the curve look like throughout the day?
And what does that curve look like?
Maybe for more of like a three to six month timeline of how you've been
managing that cortisol because like if we had no cortisol, we would die,
we also don't want it to be completely flooding our system 24 hours a day.
Like you're saying, because that does no one any good.
You can't think in that
and what is creating the cortisol?
Is it a healthy stress?
So, um, I'm going to be doing this on purpose.
Or like, I mean, Intermittent fasting is a stress on your body.
Is doing the infrared sauna is a , stress.
So it was working out.
I think it's a beautiful balance of knowing how to work with yourself.
, cause I'm not gonna encourage somebody who's lifting super heavy, drinking 10
monsters a day and not sleeping to do anything outside of starting to regulate that.
Like how, how can we work with that first?
You know, it's not like, Oh, you need to eliminate this and start incorporating this.
It's like, okay, where are you at first?
And then let's make it better.
Like working out is such a vital part of my day.
But it's like, if we become present, right, taking, two minutes, like playing
one song three times a day to just breathe, you can manage a lot of the
stress and also become more aware of all the ways that stress is in your life.
Like just being present to pause.
I think we get more information and intuitively know.
What the best next step?
Something you just said thought was cool.Did say, um, choosing
the same song, like using that as a tool for like coming back to a
Yeah, yeah,
place in time?
you, uh, you can do that and you can also do smells.
So if you don't want to have a song all the time, you can combine
a song with a smell and then you can just use one or the other.
I did that with meditation.
I just had a smell and it would immediately drop me in a little faster.
You know thats funny
the only time I've used like aromatherapy in that way, other than
just like, you know, putting it in a diffuser room smell nice.
Or like when you're getting a massage was in Um, when studying for boards, one of my mentors had
told me when in like this type of let's say you're studying cardiovascular smell, rosemary, say
studying Smell like use these different that bring type of awareness back to, know, triggers.
actually like amazingly.
Um, Oh yeah, I remember being really frustrated in that coffee shop, smelling
that darn essential oil while was really frustrated by cardiovascular
yeah, I use that at my second plant medicine retreat because I was like, I literally
just walked up to the, um, Moloka smelled the smoke and I started throwing up
like, cause I thought I would be fine, but I was very traumatized by my first week.
It was not easy.
, and so like, I knew it would be triggering.
I didn't know it would be that triggering, but I did.
I took vetiver, um, because I use that for sleep and it's actually very, very calming.
, and so it was my anchor point of like, as soon as I would smell it,
I would remember I'm safe and bring me back somewhat just enough to
realize that safety, and then I would surrender a little bit more.
So it's really powerful.
And the other tool you mentioned, I feel like maybe some of us who are just
music nerds kind of do on accident, but maybe that's actually what we're doing
when we want to jam out to that one song that's just getting us going every day.
And you listen to it on your drive to work, and you listen to it on your
way home from work, and maybe you listen to it doing the dishes later.
Maybe it's not just because you're a nerd, maybe it's because you're finding some calm
Yeah.
I'm all about utilizing tools.
Right.
Optimization and, , frequency is huge.
So, lyrics, that's why words in the songs matter, the frequency and the repetition.
Like, I went to a live, um, concert the other day and I had to leave.
Cause it was saying the same negativity over and over and it was like I was being programmed.
I'm like, I'm out.
Yeah.
No, music can be kind of freaky in that way, especially when you're hearing a
message you don't necessarily align with, or it's like butting up against something.
Sometimes, you know, for me, I'm like, Oh my gosh, turn that off.
But if you're on a live concert, that's so, um, in your face, I think
that's awesome that you felt the bravery to just say, I'm going to leave.
That's
Well, they utilize music a lot in ceremony to initiate purge.
And so I very much am aware of that interplay of what I've always
been sensitive to music, but I can understand the effects of it.
And my body's very sensitive now to feeling if it's for
me or not, whether or not I know what they're saying.
So,
The last thing I wanted to like come back to is really, you know this practice that
you and I constantly are trying to preach this message to others is using your nervous
system to help you, you know, and using it as a, just one tool in your toolbox.
And for me so much of the people that I'm seeing in terms of
concerns are um, chewing the more times than you think you need to.
Are there any other tips or tools in your toolbox that you like to give people
in terms of, um, bettering their digestion just around nervous system or breath
I think it's maybe the only thing to add is like noticing what state you're in
before you consume, because of course you want to Stop to pray and things like that.
That might bring in awareness or intentionality, you know, energy to the food,
but being able to even just take a few deep breaths, initiating the lower lobes
of your lungs, like belly breathing, , will switch you into that parasympathetic.
So, and if it's just taking one deep breath in and then exhaling and making sound.
Like that vibration will help with that nervous system switch as well.
, and making sure you're hydrated, right?
Like sometimes just the lack of sensation on the external
can help our bodies focus on what it needs to do.
How many of us actually don't do anything?
When we're eating, but just eat instead of like eating while we're trying to accomplish something.
But like, I feel like when is the last time any of us, especially if we
were like, Um, just ourselves or with one other person at the dinner table,
just focused on eating and nothing else, not being on your phone, not trying
to get something else done, not trying to do the dishes at the same time.
Um, just first of all, thank you very, very much for the time that you have shared with me on a busy
workday and especially knowing that you're going into a season of potentially taking a week off.
I think there are so many people that could benefit.
By bringing more intentionality into that part of their lives, and you sound like
someone who has a really big heart for teaching people about that from the ground
up, and I just love with what you're sharing, not only here in the Treasure Valley,
but everywhere to those around you, your friends, family, connections, community,
and I think from just Scratching the surface of the journey you've been on.
Um, you're going to continue to help so many people just have healthy
relationships with their self, with themselves and their bodies.
Yeah, thank you.
, I really appreciate the time that you've spent and I think the
biggest message that I want to put forth is that healing is an option.
You don't have to just be stuck in managing symptoms.
That's where I was and I didn't believe healing was an option.
I don't even know why I went other than hope of something better.
Never did I think that I would be off meds for the rest of my life.
But like there are other options and you don't have to just suffer with What you're dealing with
or the symptoms that you're having like mental health, too , I think a lot of it is misdiagnosed
, I was almost diagnosed with bipolar and , so I think it's just really really important to be
able to if it doesn't resonate , keep looking because the answer is there and it will find you.